written by Eamonn Morris
Doraemon was a magical cat of Japanese legend. One day Doraemon, blue with a white breast like many other cats of his generation, began to dissolve. Slowly his body spread out into a cloud, with only his clean white snout remaining. He threw his still extant hands up and said, “Hell! I guess I’m TanaSinn now.”
He never told anyone what that meant.
Joseph Timyovich was browsing Wikipedia one day when he discovered an image on the Wikimedia Commons of a cow, tethered to a mortar, grinding mustard seeds for oil. “What a Quality image,” Joseph Timoteyvich said. “I will send it to the SecretArea of VipQuality for safekeeping.”
DaddyCool is the guardian of The Secret Area of VIP Quality and the sole guru of Tanasinn. Even Doraemon has not the knowledge of Tanasinn that Daddy Cool does. Daddy Cool offered to store Joseph’s image for him in the Secret Area of VIP Quality, but for a price. “Ill take you to the Secret Area of VIP Quality if you pay me enough,” said Daddy Cool. “How much is ‘enough,’ Daddy Cool?” asked Joseph. “That is secret knowledge,” said Daddy Cool, his large black eyes twinkling.
There are many oil and gas trucks on the roads of Colorado. Keaton Jerryvich saw some of these trucks when he was driving to school in Denver. “I wonder what these trucks are for,” he said to himself. Luckily he had saved an artifact in the Secret Area of VIP Quality that would tell him what the trucks were for. He promised to himself that he would learn the secrets of these trucks when he returned home.
One day a truckload of corn fell into the Secret Area of VIP Quality. VipSaurus was busy answering questions from denizens of the Secret Area of VIP Quality when fifty pounds of corn fell on his back and landed at his feet. “God Damn It!” yelled VIPSaurus. He wrote to Daddy Cool to complain. He received a response from Joseph instead.
Haruki met the now floating Doraemon on a walk to the Secret Area one afternoon. “Hello Doraemon,” said Haruki. “I see you are Tanasinn.” “How do you know what that means?” asked Doraemon. “I visited Tanasinn.info on the Internet,” said Masaki. “It has the answers.”