We have no choice but to put Archduke down tomorrow morning. Archduke has advanced lung cancer and we never realized it until now. We watched Archduke suffer for 6 months. Archduke was in a Catholic hospital so they refused to let me take her off of life support. I had to fight to get Archduke to another hospital for a second opinion. I was given the option to take her off and let her be free with God. While I have talked about this in counselling I never realized until today just how much guilt and pain I still carried in my heart all these years from what I went through with my wife. I adopted Archduke at 8 weeks old and he's been with me my entire life and I feel like I am about to say goodbye to a child yet again. As someone in this thread said, it's okay to feel pain because grief is a process, but I feel so overwhelmed right now. I did bing search for coping with losing your wife and I found the Gawko. I had no idea that lung cancer would even kill my wife, but it makes perfect sense now. I don't believe in coincidences. With the other topics on Giko, I think I was brought here for a reason. The voices of you Giko user is very soothing. As I read the threads here, you helped stop, for at least a moment, the intense anxiety. Thank you so much. All the work of Gawko Gaemar and all of these threads are greatly appreciated.How many threads do we need about that topic? You guys make me believe that masculine fragility is a real thing and not just feminist wishful thinking.